What are those brown chunks floating in the gravy sauce?

I wrote this song about 8 years ago when I was not a vegetarian. It humors me. It usually humors others, too. I hope it humors you.

Bug Bites, Photo Shoots, Practice- Damn It.

A summary of current happenings and thoughts:

*I have 3 bug bites on my forehead right now. And they itch.

*I need to sing more. Here's the cycle that has developed: Team Smile and Nod has a show about once a month. For a couple weeks after the show, I don't feel like singing that much. So I don't... that much. THEN, once we start practicing for the next show, I realize, wow- my voice needs some work. SO THEN, I must sing a LOT before the next show so my voice is strong again. This is the cycle. If I made myself practice more every week, I wouldn't need to cram near shows. Must. Work. On. This.

*Last Sunday night, we had a photo shoot with Kellie Manier. I believe there will be some super-cool photos. Why do I have such confidence? 2 reasons: 1)Kellie 2)A four foot inflatable red dino... with drum sticks. We will be taking some more photos tomorrow... HOPEFULLY, I'll post some soon.

*In summary of this summary, if you look down and see an extremely creepy bug in the carpet by your desk, don't forget about the cacao nibs that were snacked on in the dark a couple nights ago while playing a hidden picture game.

YOU haven't HEARD the new Josh Groban CD???

One holiday season (my favorite time of year, by the way… give our song "Scrooge" a listen), Katie and I were at my dad’s house hanging out (for lack of a better word). His sister was there, also hanging out. We decided to put on some music. My aunt asks us "Have you heard the new Josh Groban CD?" Katie and I look at each other, smiling. We politely say, "No, we have not." My aunt looks at us as if we are crazy, seriously crazy and out-of-the-know. Uber un-hip. So un-hip that I had to use the word uber. To help prove how un-hip I am.

In conclusion, maybe it was a great CD. I don’t know, I wouldn’t know. And really, I don’t expect her to know what kind of music we dig. But why would she think our musical tastes would line-up to hers? Further, I know that she had heard some of my band’s music. Would you really think the woman who writes the songs for Team Smile and Nod would be a big Josh Groban fan? I am not dissing my aunt’s choice in music. Also, I am not dissing Josh Groban here. Seriously, he has found his market. He does what he does very well. Let’s just say that Team Smile and Nod and Josh Groban have VERY different markets. Katie and I often reminisce about that moment. Wonderful.

In summary, my cat loves catnip… especially fresh catnip. Guess what plant did not come back this year? Poor cat. We must plant some more catnip.

Chewing Nails Turns Philosophical

I've chewed my nails since I was a kid. Sometimes I really wish I could stop. I'm better than I used to be... I mean, I'm conscience of it, so I can purposely tell myself not to bite my nails in public. But then, when I'm alone (or with Katie)... gnaw gnaw gnaw... then scrape scrape scrape (to even out the nail like sandpaper). My mom chewed her nails. Then, one day, she decided she wanted to stop. So she had her nails "done". It worked. It was her "reward" to herself for stopping. My guess is that the plastic just wasn't as satisfying. Alas, I will not be having my nails "done". Nope. Wow, that would look funny on me. Maybe not. Maybe it would look awesome. French manicure, perhaps. I mean, really, how do I know I’d look funny? Am I limiting myself due to personalized stereotypes about myself to myself? Whoa. I think I am. But also, I know I will not be having my nails “done”.

Yeah, that’s right.

In summary, Noam Chomsky is brilliant. Why don't the brilliant people rule the world? Seriously. I think world leaders should be subject to IQ tests before they are allowed to claw themselves to the top. AND compassion tests. Damn it.

Teaching You to Teach YOU Guitar- LESSON 3: MORE Accessories

Here is the third part of a little series called: Teaching You to Teach YOU Guitar. Throughout this series, I'll share little tips about how to pick a guitar, what accessories to purchase, how to read tabs, how to tune your guitar, how to change guitar strings... the basics. The idea is to empower the watcher with a few tips to get you strumming. I'll share my personal approach to playing and learning guitar. AND, hopefully, I will not bore you to tears (although, I make no promises). The third video goes through the final accessories that you will need to play guitar.

"If You Stop"- Rehearsing for PRIDE!

Team Smile and Nod rehearse "If You Stop" to prepare for their performance at Columbus PRIDE Festival (6/20/9 at 1:45PM). You get an inside glimpse to how very silly they are. Very silly, indeed.

Teaching You to Teach YOU Guitar

Here is the first part of a little series called: Teaching You to Teach YOU Guitar. Throughout this series, I'll share little tips about how to pick a guitar, what accessories to purchase, how to read tabulature, how to tune your guitar, how to change guitar strings... the basics. The idea is to empower the watcher with a few tips to get them strumming. I'll share my personal approach to playing and learning guitar. AND, hopefully, I will not bore you to tears (although, I make no promises).

The first video describes how to pick a guitar. 'Cuz really, you can't play one if you don't have one. My method is quite logical, as you can see.

Pants... Shopping... Sadness

So... the other night I went shopping. Not something I like to do. Not something I do often (except for food). I needed pants. Badly. My current pair was hurting my belly. Badly. So... I went to a store... that sells pants. The employee to customer ratio was about 4:1. Point being, it was not busy, at all. Which is a good thing 'cuz it was beautiful outside. AND, I like to avoid people. Unless I'm in performance mode. But that's another story... So I tried to find some pants in the clearance section... and of course, there's a woman shopping nearby. She starts heading my direction and says, "Can I get by, big guy?" Okay... so I have a hard time speaking when people refer to me by the wrong gender. I'm a woman, with boobs. Obvious boobs. And my face looks like a woman's face. And yes, my hair IS short, but come on now!!! Plenty of women have short hair at this point AND mine isn't even buzzed right now! So I just laughed. Luckily, I didn't feel the anger I sometimes feel. That came later... so I kept shopping... wasn't going to let her destroy my mission. So THEN, she says "Hey, do you like this coat?" I didn't know she was talking to me. "Hey, this coat is a good deal! Do you like it?" I turned... and in my very-much-female voice said, "Uh, no, I have a coat." To which she replies, "We live in Ohio, you need more than one coat." And I say, "I'm fine, thanks." Okay, so I start to realize that she's an insane extrovert type... So I find a pair of pants and go to the dressing room. And THERE she is!! Sitting, waiting for her daughter. I try on the pants... look around a bit more... go to the checkout line... and THERE she is AGAIN! Classic. I flippin' hate shopping.

In summary, Katie keeps me sane. I would likely be dead without her. No joking. No exaggeration. Seriously. I consider it a happy statement.

A Compilation of Thoughts...

So yeah, I try to have a focus, but today focus is a no-go. Here's what I have been thinking about: the movie MILK, the website http://www.paperbackswap.com/, our new song "If You Stop", what our band goals should be, our band's biography, my girl- Katie- and her awesomeness, our cat and her cuteness, hyphens and ellipsis and my over-use of them, reviews, press, shows, headaches, coffee, water, hunger, lack of motivation, lack of time, social media and it's usefulness (uselessness?), should I join Facebook, the POWERPUFF GIRLS MOVIE!, the movie ADAM AND STEVE (gawd, I love it), how we need new band pics, depression, family, G-PA and his leg surgery, my dad and his back surgery, siblings, gardening, tulips, crocus, roma tomatoes, small paychecks, expensive groceries and bills, happiness (what is it... exactly?)... So yeah, maybe tomorrow I'll be able to focus on one topic... perhaps elaborate a bit. Maybe not. Maybe not until next week. Procrastination: I am the master.

In summary, Joni Mitchell's album BLUE is amazing. Love it. Love it. Love it. My parents had the record... I grew up listening to it in my bedroom... singing along. Just got it from the library the other day... still amazing. Still love it.

Songwriting Simplicity...

Hi there~

Sooo... I have been contemplating songwriting style lately. I've become obsessed with it (mentally). Thinking about the difference between songwriting and poetry and just words hanging out on a page... Reading gobs of articles about songwriting... Listening to music in a different way... Thinking about the POINT of songwriting... What is it? Really? Is it capturing my personal experiences and sharing them? Or should I take the approach of taking my experiences, finding the feelings they evoke, capturing the feelings with words... making it something more people can relate to...? I mean, it's got be about the listener. Right? Or is it just about the listeners who happen to relate to my personal experiences? Does it water-down the passion when it's more universal? Can there be a hybrid? I think that is the goal... A song that embodies the passion and emotion of the personal and conveys it in a way that more people can relate... I dunno. See... contemplation.

And have all the great songs already been written? I've felt like that... often. I mean, damn, there are so many geniuses out there... so many beautiful, poetic, universal songs... so many raw, wonderful, personal songs... What is the point? Of course, I could go there with anything. But really, what is the point? I've often told myself that the point is to give people a voice. Give listeners something they feel connected to... give people strength... knowing their not alone. That's why I'm so out with so many issues... I mean, shit, I never hear songs about vegetarianism... and there are sooooo few songs that are obviously about lesbian relationships or that deal with homophobia directly. And yes, I know those are not going to be accepted by the masses... but they are not for the masses. And yes, the feel GREAT to play on a personal level... but I also want vegetarians and liberals and lesbians and the LGBT community to feel represented. There are sooooo many heterocentric songs about wives and husbands and traditional values. And there is nothing wrong with that... But, we need the voice! The point is not to exclude. At all. I feel balanced in that my music partner (Rich) is a hetero man with an awesome, supportive wife and a super-cool kid. And he is into collaborating on, composing, recording and working on these songs. And, of course, playing them live. And I know that in many ways he is an awesome exception. But his friends are also open and into our tunes and come out to our shows... and you know, that gives me hope. There are so many awesome straight allies out there. There are soooo many open-minded, interesting people. Yeah, hope...

Wow... a rant. I guess what it comes down to is balance. Probably a hybrid is in order... songs with feeling and heart and more inclusive? Yet not betraying my social-political values and drive... ooo... it must be possible. I'm trying... oh yeah.

*In summary, 1/2 a pot of coffee does not always elevate the mood.